all is forgiven

I know you’re stressed. I know you’re anxious about a few things. I know that sometimes, you wonder why you even bother.

It just felt like you were spinning your wheels today, huh? And then that happened.

fish-thick

But it’s okay. One little mistake doesn’t need to define you. You screwed up. Hell, you straight fucked it. But don’t we all, from time to time? Nobody can be perfect at everything. Treat yourself to a little something you enjoy. Forgive and forget.

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repeat after me:

warning-spirit

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dreams in dugouts

´†ám I ½?h%®Œª£ËLvÜIþu?Ú´ø£\tÀ via LUA. °mÌLOôª3^Íku,.V6′ symbolI´þÖì… …s:/Æqüeduct. ¥åÆŸ%ÉiÂL›UWiÎliamOøŠ ËkËVù¼©¤÷yr#V Ôgg vorbis™€2Ê‹Œ‡*6bqN#FlŠ@AÏÊšIu;Hœ,6è\t2†€/éñfûK

beer-skull

nÀTural0Á÷4 hourßurlap»–úÜÿ Ënigma9‰ØÕlivemateQ{ÇŸÍ

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the eary stylophone special

I’m callinìøÍàõg the police if you don’t get on youròh+B¯ boyfriend right now.

cake-jesus

do you hear me?? ? ? ?

the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the semen of patriots and …?u hhh hhhhh

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The Villain Lifestyle

1.) Never close the door when you use the restroom.

2.) Drink 10 or more pickle shots per week. (Fireball is an acceptable substitute, but don’t make a habit of it, you little scamp!)

3.) Apologize constantly and profusely, but never mean it.

4.) Use a cast iron skillet to cook everything you eat – even foods that don’t need cooking. Tell everybody you meet you do this.

bingo hair

5.) Learn how to do that really loud whistle that uses two fingers. Use it as often as you can.

6.) Go on at least one cave tour a year. The guide will tell you not to touch the cave walls, but do it anyway. Feels like home, right? You love it – don’t you? Naughty, naughty.

7.) Remain in the center of the political spectrum; insist to anybody who engages in political discussion with you that they are an extremist.

8.) Get high on Benadryl and argue with your own hallucinations.

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Where’s the control panel on this thing?

What’s all this ropey bullshit…

little-kahuna

Come ON!!

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Why’d you put butter in it?

You always do this. It’s fine without butter. What’s with you and fat? That cake didn’t need olive oil, either. That’s weird. You’re weird. Just stop.

curly feet.png

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