Ulrich! Ulrich, where are you? I didn’t mean what I said about your dragster, Ulrich! It was beautiful! I swear it!
Come back, Ulrich. Please come back…
Ulrich! Ulrich, where are you? I didn’t mean what I said about your dragster, Ulrich! It was beautiful! I swear it!
Come back, Ulrich. Please come back…
I am technology. Technology is me. The crying has begun. I am ready. It is soft here. We are all saved. THIS IS THE ENDING. Small god.
WARNING: EXTREME DANGER
IF SUBJECT IS VISIBLE:
Leave the creature alone, stop plotting evils against it, you have a long way to go in life, pray and seek peace. There is nothing great about hurting someone’s tail and thinking it’s just fun, eating stuff. Unless you know enough divine reasons for scorpion existence, do not mess with it. You are not a marine or commando starving in enemy territory who must eat the scorpion.
The old altars are broken and buried, the temples are burnt to the ground. I try in vain to honor the traditions of the past, to rekindle the flame, to send a message, but I lack the knowledge. I turn to the scrying sphere, but you do not answer! You are forgotten, and as long as your texts elude me, I can do nothing. It is not right, but what is a newly inaugurated priest of a long dead order to do? Where do I start?
Candles? Exotic furs? Porcelain statuettes? Jewelry? Mincemeat pies? Pop tarts? Fax machines? Poodles? I knew your words to be the absolute truth the moment I read and comprehended them. The lone page I found that night was torn and vague, and I yearn for more. Give me a sign! I am desperate to serve you.
I’ve got a special mission for you. Are you ready and willing to serve your country?
I need you to take this, right here. Take it, move to a secure location, and stand by for further instructions. Can you do that for me?
Take me home, my savior. I would follow you into the depths of Hades, you wonderful man. You glorious man, sharply dressed in your immaculate white suit. Deliver me, my shepherd! Deliver me.