Who are these people? These fucking millennials, with their twitter accounts and Tom’s shoes and micro-lending and macrobiotics. They smile smugly, with their liberal politics and conservative lifestyles. Their cross-fit and acro yoga. Fuck you, you inauthentic fuck. You obamapheliac with your small fucking dog.

You’re two missed payments away from foreclosure, and if you lose your job, the insurance that pays for your special needs kid is gonna be done, and so will you. Where is your fucking God? Is it the same one as those bearded bastards, cutting off clits in Yemen? You’re two more Fox News viewings away from being that guy.